Three Little Words

 

Three Little Words.
These three little words say everything all of us ache to hear.


Perhaps every parent should say these 3 little words over every babe in their arms.
Perhaps every boss should take a vow to say this to each of their employees (oh, what a difference this would make in the workplace!)
Perhaps these three little words should be a part of every wedding vow.

“I got you.”

A parent patiently stands in the water, hands and arms upraised, saying “I got you” to the child with toes tightened around the lip of the pool edge.  The clear message for this little girl is that this parent will be there to catch her, to keep harm from happening, to keep her close and safe.

“I got you.”

A parent squats next to the child crying on the road’s pavement, blood trickling down her leg.  The parent consoles, knowing that pain cannot be taken away, but “I got you” says that the parent sees, feels the pain, and aches in every fiber to take that pain away.  The child will not face this trauma alone.  Hand in hand, both face it together.

“I got you.”

A boss faces an employee whose fear is apparent, whose fingers twitch, and whose body jumps.  “I got you,” the boss consoles.  The employee knows that the boss will stand up for her, even if the situation is due to her oversight.  The boss will stand in the fire for her.  The boss will protect her.  The boss will work for the best for her employee.

“I got you.”

Two individuals promise “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”  When we repeat these words, we honestly have no idea what we are really agreeing to.  We don’t know what the future holds, but these vows are a promise to be there for the other regardless—--these vows really express the truth of “I got you”---regardless of circumstances or time, I will be there beside you, walking through the challenges of life, no matter what.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
 

“I got you” often is a much bigger commitment than “I love you.”
We throw around “I love you” much too flippantly.  
 

As a person with a big heart, I love a whole lot of people and a whole lot of things.
I love ice cream.
I love books.
I love teaching.
I love the Baylor men’s basketball team.

However, “I got you” is not something I will say to every person I care about.
This is a much deeper commitment.

I promised each of my sons over and over, “I got you.”
And I tried to keep this promise throughout the years,
Whether they were lovable or not,
Whether their actions hurt me or their words tore little holes in my heart,
If they were here right now, I would make sure to remind them, “I got you.”

I would come running across the continent the second my oldest called.
I would drop everything the second my youngest asked for my help.
They have my support no matter what.

* * * * * * * * * * *

I had these three little words figured out when it came to being a parent.
However, I have spent my life being a complete and utter failure at saying those three little words to myself.
Until this past year, I tried to personify those 3 little words to almost anybody BUT me.
I tried to be all things to all people—except to myself.

However, a year ago, I started making promises to myself that are really summarized by three little words:
“I . . . got . . . you.”

For me, those three words mean so much.
It means that I see my hurt.
I hear what my gut says, and now that I actually listen, it speaks even louder than before.
I acknowledge my heart's passions.
I listen to the little voice that speaks to me about inner truths.
I block out the external expectations and focus on what Kim says—and If she says she is tired, I honor that.
I bear witness to my own struggles, to my own day-to-day victories, and to the little joys of life.
I reach out for help when I know I need it.
It means accepting challenges and honoring boundaries at the same time.
It means speaking up when someone has hurt me or mistreated me.
It means when life is too much, I put away the grading and sit beside the propane fire pit in my backyard with a glass of wine, a snoring dog, and a book beside me.
It means that no matter what the clock says, I honor my fatigue and go to sleep.
It means seeing my strengths and giving room for them to grow and stretch me.
It means that I make magical spaces inside my home that bring me joy.
It means that if my mind says, “Enough,” I honor that and stop whatever I am doing.
It means that I say “no” more often to things that tear me down—and “yes” much more often to the activities that remind me of the passions of life.
It means I don’t always examine all the possible consequences—and sometimes just jump when it feels right—including signing up for a writing retreat.
It means acknowledging the little girl inside this woman’s body by buying a kid’s messed-up birthday cake on huge clearance and laughing hysterically with blue icing coating my lips.
It means having my own back and protecting myself no matter the cost,
but it also means allowing myself to love—-and love big—no matter the cost because that is what my heart still wants to do.

I can now say those 3 little words to the reflection in the mirror.
I can promise myself now, “I got you” and really mean it.
Those three little words were the three words I have ached to hear from myself for half a century.
Now I promise myself daily, whispering it, and sometimes even yelling it,
 

"I got you.”