His eyes called me to him—
And his smile—
And, of course, his comforting presence and sweet words.
My friend, the one who knows me and wants only the best for me.
My friend offered me the sweetness of life
if only I would love him and follow him to the secret places of his heart—
Secret places saved only for me.
The Amontillado—a precious, rare treasure saved only for the most special—
The most Fortunate.
Me.
He told me I was lucky to have him and to share in what he called “My Treasure.”
I left others behind, my friends and family, to join him, to follow him step by step.
That one decision led to many others,
Winding,
Confusing,
Desolate.
I lost my way . . .
My sense of direction gone, the light dim,
All I knew to do was to follow him—
he who was confident, reassuring, and promising.
I followed the light and hope of his words . . .
Even as a small part of me longed to go back,
To find my own way, to trust my own sense of direction.
His sweet words “love-bombed” me, exploding my fears and worries.
He spoke of his concern for my well-being, my health, my happiness.
Even as I felt something was wrong,
I not only believed in him, but I believed him.
His directions of up and down, right and left, right and wrong became mine as well
as he guided me through the chaotic corridors.
He promised the treasure was just ahead . . .
And I stepped hopefully, with purpose . . .
Only to find a dead end.
It was too late.
Chains bound me in a special “cage” created just for me by him,
A Goldilocks-perfect trap created by one who knew me so well,
Who knew now how to weaken me,
To make me beg and plead,
To play with my insecurities,
To force me to cajole, make promises, accept unnecessary blame,
Become someone I barely recognized because I barely recognized him..
My pleas only led to gaslighting, to mimicking, to mocking jeers.
“I will destroy you,” he cackled, as my knees buckled beneath me.
“You changed.”
“You made a fool of me.”
“You made me do this.”
“I wouldn’t have done this if you hadn’t forced me to.”
“Nemo me impune lacessit.”
He played with my hopes,
As he bricked me in,
Block by block,
The outside world slowly dimming,
The refreshing, rejuvenating sustenance thinning,
To be replaced by his toxic cheer and lies.
He sat outside the wall of his making, enjoying my pain,
Content to go about his life, making up stories to others,
Altering reality.
As I struggled against the chains, I asked myself,
“How could you have been so blind?”
I saw now the true irony.
He had said if I followed him I would find the treasure, and in an odd way, it's true.
Only now did I see, as I sit cramped in this tiny spot,
I did find the only real treasure --- ME.
There was no treasure he could offer me.
Instead, I had been the real treasure the whole time,
Valuable beyond measure,
And now he had ME, trapped for his pleasure.
