Giggle--A Family Tradition

 

The Giggle Mattress was brought into existence when I was a child.
My parents slept in a double bed.  
Their mattress existed before memory mattresses, hybrid mattresses, or even firm mattresses.  

My parents rarely changed mattresses or furniture in their house.
If it worked, then, why get rid of it?  
I think they had the same bedroom suite and mattress from their first year of marriage until my high school graduation or perhaps college graduation.

A couple times a year, my parents decided we would have a special night.
They would grab their double mattress and drag it into the living room.
We would place the mattress on the floor and watch TV snuggled together.  

I don’t remember why these evenings happened,
Or what motivated these nights.
I don’t even remember if we all fell asleep out on the mattress.
These Giggle mattress nights usually lasted one night only, and then, the mattress would be put back in the bedroom where it “belonged.”

All I remember was the sheer joy of the oddity of this event—
Of pulling out the mattress and making a living room “fort.”
All I remember were the moments of hilarity as
Mom and Dad grappled with the mattress.
It was old and worn out.
It did not move easily.
It folded and warped.
Mom and Dad could barely grab hold of it and move it from room to room.
All 4 of us would end up in giggles as the mattress collapsed beneath one of us or
Folded in on itself, loosening its grip from a hand.

It quickly became known as the Giggle Mattress.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Years passed.
Kelly and I grew up.
The mattress did not get moved out to the living room any longer.
The mattress was sold.
Dad died.
I moved to Texas.
I had two boys.
I got divorced.
I lived by myself in a house ¼ of the size of my previous house prior to the divorce.
3200 sq. feet reduced to 800 sq. feet.

No income.
A strange house for my boys.
Surreal life for me.
I was all alone.
Depressed.
Loaded with anxiety.
Looking for work,
Redesigning my life.

All felt off, abnormal, out of control.
How could I keep doing life?
How could I keep being the mom I wanted and needed to be for my boys when I only saw them half the time?
Traditions associated with holidays would no longer work like they had with my family
Since I would only see my boys half of those holidays.

I felt like a failure of a parent.
I knew I could never provide them the safe environment that my parents provided me 24/7, 12 months a year, 365 days a year.
I was at a loss of what to do.

I lived in a small house,
Nothing like the house I used to own.
I had no money.
I had nothing to compete with the wealth, with the security our old house and the marriage had seemingly provided.

One Friday evening when the boys were with me,
I suddenly made a decision.
I wanted to make this ordinary night magical.

I pulled out the boys’ two twin mattresses since that was all I could lift by myself.
I put them side-by-side in the small living room, moving chairs and end tables to make the mattresses fit.
I had the boys grab every pillow we owned.
I grabbed blankets.  
We made popcorn and all sorts of treats.
Avatar:  The Last Airbender played.
The boys and I watched TV,
They played.
We cuddled with the TV on, and we fell asleep on our own version of the Giggle Mattress.

The Giggle Mattress continued its joy.

I didn’t do it every weekend,
But whenever it felt like we all needed a treat,
Whenever we needed encouragement,
Whenever we were tired,
Or when someone was sick, our Giggle Mattress got pulled out.
The three of us would enjoy the special treat of a mattress night.

Sometimes, when illnesses lasted, Giggle Mattress stayed out for days—or even a week.

Some of my best memories of the boys when they were little
Were on the Giggle Mattress.

Even when the boys were old enough to drag the twin mattresses in by themselves,
They loved these special moments.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

It has been at least 15 years since Giggle Mattress has been formally put into practice.
Yet,
As much as life changes,
Some things remain.

My parents are no longer alive.
The rental house I lived in is now someone else’s.
The house here on Karma Dr. is still mine, but
The boys are no longer here.

It is just me.  
I have no twin beds, so there is no chance of moving the mattress by myself.
Things have changed,
But the floor beneath my feet
Still holds the giggles
Still holds the memories
Of moments watching Aing the Avatar, Gremlins, or any of the other movies we watched together
On the Giggle Mattress.

It is still real to me.
The Giggle Mattress took a moment of hopelessness and despair
And brought me priceless memories
Over a decade.

My daily goal right now is to regularly make something ordinary into a magical moment,
A moment that brings giggles,
Smiles,
Even tears,
A moment to remind me that life is magical even here in the living room on Karma Drive.