The grill is on, and the table is full
I’ll be honest. I only started tailgating at Baylor in 2009 because my husband wanted to. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love college football, but in Texas heat in the early fall, I had never considered why in the world I would possibly want to spend 5 (or more) extra hours in the heat rather than watching the game in my air-conditioned living room.
However, he wanted to, and I joined in. We bought the food, set up the tent, and sweated. At first, it was just the two of us tailgating, or when the boys were with us, the four of us tailgating. (Andy was 10 when we started our first year, and now he is in graduate school and bringing 10-15 of his friends tomorrow to the game).
As the years progressed, however, the tailgating crew grew. We met people from the neighboring sites. We invited people from our lives to join us. Those from an additional 3 groups/sites have now joined forces with us (or perhaps, we have joined them), and now our numbers usually exceed 30. We have sweated---and sometimes frozen—and sometimes we have even gotten wet and muddy.
What I have recently realized, though, as sacrilegious as it sounds, is that I have rediscovered the true meaning of church under that tailgating tent.
Here are some of the things I’ve learned under that tent:
1. All are welcome under our tent. Our tailgating crew is made up of staunch Republicans, liberal Democrats, gun-toting Texans, and those who hate guns. Teetotalers and drinkers, black, white, Hispanic, old, young, single, divorced, and married all spend time under our tent. God-fearing churchgoers meet with those who wouldn’t attend church if they were paid. Those who smoke and those who don’t, those who curse and those who wouldn’t dare all find welcome here---a welcome without judgment.
2. Despite our different backgrounds, we are all part of a family. Our tailgating family comes from various paths of life. Some of our crew are co-workers or former co-workers or children of co-workers. Some are those in neighboring tents who have enjoyed the shade for a while or Anthony’s delicacies and have become our “autumn” family. The “kids” from the site next door who joined forces with us several years ago put up with us, even though we are old enough to be their parents. Just as a real family, we have celebrated the births of their children, even while our children graduated from high school and college.
Some of our crew actually are just passersby and perfect strangers who come to ask questions about the grill, grab a drink, and then find a welcoming seat. We have welcomed people we have met on Twitter, those we know through our kids’ school, and those we know from past life connections. We have even had our regulars invite people they know and the “autumn” family grows. Our crew often finds themselves sitting next to perfect strangers, as people from various walks of lives share moments under that tent, and yet the conversation continues. Despite the differences, as far as I know, no single argument has ever arisen regarding our differences, and no one has felt left out or unappreciated.
3. Whether we know each other well or not, we give of what we have to others. Several years ago, a wind storm came out of nowhere. Jill and I were the lone lingerers at the site, and the tents went flying. Perfect strangers came and helped us take down the tents. Then, we, in turn, went and helped other neighbors. If someone nearby forgets an item, we share with those around us. We have shared phone chargers, fingernail clippers, folding chairs, hand sanitizer, trash bags, and of course, we have shared food. Whatever any of us have on our table is open to our neighbors.
4. We each contribute our strengths. Anthony is usually the grill master and the extrovert. He shares his food and his plus-sized personality with literally anyone who walks by. As the introverted organizer, I try to make sure we have everything we will need, and now that our “family” is bigger, I have a fellow organizer in Courtney. Others, like Steve and Walker and Marshall, have contributed their muscles to take down the tents and chairs.
Others, like Lisa, Allie, and Josh, and Jill are the conversationalists who can talk to anyone about anything. Robin provides the most wonderful hugs, and all the children make me smile. Kerry's humor never fails to brighten my day, Tammy's deviled eggs are always a hit, and Mike and Ernie always bring Anthony to life. Brad and Paul’s stories make us laugh, and all the others I am not mentioning by name still bring the same smile to my face right now when I think of them! We each seem to find our place to make the tent a welcoming place.
6. We don’t get hung up on the little things. If University of Texas is playing Baylor, we accept jerseys of both colors under our tent. Everyone is welcome. We laugh and tease each other, but in the end, we know that the school color, the jersey, and the loyalty is not what matters. Rather than focusing on the differences, we focus on the similarities.
The year 2020 was already a bit challenging dealing with COVID, my mother’s death, and much more. The absence of my tailgating family was real. We have continued to meet occasionally on Zoom for a virtual baby shower, via text conversations, via videos of me reading books for the little ones. Despite continued COVID fears, regardless of whether we actually merge with the crowds in the stands, we will meet in the open air under the tent.
So, when you see me this fall writing a Facebook post about surviving the heat of the summer a mere 8 hours before the game, or when you see a picture of all of us bundled up and gathered around a fire pit, eating chili on a 30-degree morning, you will know why I do what I do.
It is more than just sitting under a tent. It is more than football.
Church is not always held inside a building with stained glass windows. The truths of Jesus can even be found under pop-up tents. As a churchgoer and minister for years, I often lost Jesus in the sanctuary.
However, I know where you can find that type of love and acceptance this fall if you’re interested.
It started for Anthony and me with the two of us, and now our family includes thirty or more. There is always room for more!
Join us under the tent. The grill is heated up, and the table is always full of food.
You have a standing invitation.
